Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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