Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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