ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
