i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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