i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
accomplished twins. life is a go
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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