So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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