We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
