Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
