I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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