i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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