I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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