You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
