Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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