But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
