census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
