This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
