The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
