The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
