Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
