shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
