Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
