i already hear my dad disowning me
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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