I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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