See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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