Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Of course I have a pirate flag
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
