So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
