I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Non-Jews are for practice
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
