I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
