I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
