I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
