My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
