Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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