Apparently you make a good broom.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
