party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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