my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
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