It's Friday. Sex?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
