worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
You took a bar mat shot.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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