i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
