I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
