Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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