quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
