Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
