goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
