just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wish you could order shots online.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
