this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
