3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
