i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
