I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
