guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
