can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
