im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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