He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize