i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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