are you still at the devil's house?
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
