I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
