She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
How external is "for external use only"?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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