i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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