I got chris browned last night
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
