Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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