what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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