As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize
